Broken trance

Good--I actually have something legit to write about now (am so happy!! xD)

It pains my fingers to write something I know I have to write, rather than the carefree bliss spent over hours of endless scrolling on time wasters. Like this one, I know… Almost everyday there is regret and remorse about the things should have done and that should have been. And there has very little been done about it. So my days remain forgotten like the dusty old cloth bookmark hidden between a crevice on a vast bamboo bookshelf. 

What we do now is a building block invested towards our future. Most of times I brush that off and run away with something because it gives me momentary happiness. Occasionally I do something actually good and it gives me joy for a week and more. 

Freedom still has its bounds. Or maybe what I have now isn't purely freedom. I think it is what I make of it, what I carve. It seems if I don't use it for what freedom is and do something stupid I fall down on a pit and go back to the beginning of the cycle. I ponder on what prevents me from stumbling. All the time it is in front of my eyes. I don't usually take it, maybe because I am blind or am fooled by the notion that I don't have any time for the solution. The answer calls me, gently, other times plain loud like a mother sternly leading its child away from what is bad, and towards his goodwill. And the remedy also knows that it is my decision whether or not I should listen to the voice of its truth. Because I am human, I know that to listen is for my good, to refuse is to be cast away from these good shores. And of course, all of us know that everyone always chooses the better one.